A List of Top Ten Reasons for Home Schooling
(To Help Keep Your WHY Strong:)
(In No Particular Order)
Please Note: I have three sisters who have done all of the below with their children in a variety of school settings. I say this because I understand how many wonderful ways of parenting there are. But it is the freedom of time and place that I have found to be so exceptionally (ex - out of. cept - the given, as in taken for granted. Exceptional - not conforming to the the taken for granted) worthwhile in homeschooling. The amazing unexpected stuff that happens when seemingly nothing of the "suppose to be this way" is happening.
My Top Ten Reasons:
Wonder
Many lovely, naturally occurring beautiful moments of Wonder
Life is meant to be full of Wonder. Home schooling is a very easy and inexpensive way to fill your child's life with wonder. (And not just in early childhood.) And I don't mean a fierce, driven run toward wonder. Simply the time for and expectation of wonder. Wonder that may or may not surprise you in the midst of life.
Wonder at the beauty of a song, a sight, a thought, a story, a new idea.
Wonder takes time. Homeschooling allows for such precious and surprising moments.
Complex and Subtle Thoughts
Avoidance of Reductionistic Learning - and at a GREAT price
Related to the above (WONDER). As a tutor it often breaks my heart to watch the reductionistic nature (reductionism - the theory that all complex systems can be completely understood in terms of their individual components. Spending time in tons of details that rarely speak of anything meaningful nor important, believing that the details tell us all that one needs to know. All facts and no meaning...) of many school curricula.
The history of the federalization of teaching is terribly disheartening. Prior to 'No Child Left Behind' teachers were usually creatively essential in the development and creation of their own curriculum. And, therefore, it often had a responsive element. The teacher was in her class with her students able to respond with the culture of that particular class. And then through federal mandates, education became scripted. And as it has become increasingly scripted, one still sees inspiring, creative teaching happen; but often it is in spite of the actual curriculum. Pick up a Third Grade Literature book. Lots of non-fiction reading because somehow growing non-fiction reading has become quite important. In spite of the fact that third graders are still massive dreamers, not yet needing to always differentiate fact from fiction.
Where, then, in this boringly scripted world is the wonder of literature? Of thinking? So little joy. So laborious. It pains me. Saddens me. Breaks my heart for all the beautiful reality of quirky young people learning how to behave and stifle the best of themselves as they sit (or stand) at their desks in passive receptor mode. Where and when is anyone listening to the best of adventures? Putting together a very resilient and robust narrative of life? Thinking about and discovering how thoughts connect together through stories of wonder and big ideas? . . .
Playing with ideas? Playing with thoughts? Building? And creating? Skyscrapers of blocks that nearly reach the ceiling? Well into your early teens. Not merely mimicking the tediously pedantic (excessively concerned with minor details or rules; scrupulous; "teacher-ish" in the worst sense of the word.) The this-you-should-know because it is the correct way to think. (are you claustrophobic already?)
vs. Personhood. Feeling the power of one's own individuality and person. The tragic part of reductionistic teaching is that it usually results in reductionistic learning. It bypasses personhood such that the student is no longer an active participant in the process. Not a player, so to speak; when it is their very own life that is being lived in each and every very real moment they spend in a classroom. Their journey of becoming is crafted by someone very far away with many thoughts and opinions that you, as a parent, as well as your child, may or may not agree with.
And, in the midst, of this top-down mental herding, we have grown a culture that drinks down the thoughts of "professionals" whole-heartedly. Non-critical thinking about a presumed "right" or "correct" that stifles the joy of becoming and being, etc.
( You may be interested in the thoughts of Peter Kreeft and Dallas Willard on reductionistic thinking working against human becoming.)
Homeschooling lets you break free from the scripted. Whether you are ready for it or not. Some of us are not as ready for it as others. And for the more timid, rule abiding of us; let me simply say: Have NO fear!
Life happens. Learning happens. A happy, healthy sense of self will be discovered. You will not fail. No matter what your external or internal enemies tell you. Find some bold friends, have fun, and do not fear ...
Spend time discovering the ants under the rocks. Or practicing relaxing after lunch as a family. The demanding rigor of structure is not real. There may be a time for it, but when that time comes - it will be after many years of growing a happy, thriving self.
Spiritual Integration through all you think and do
God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him. The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. -- John
Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities -- his eternal power and divine nature. --Romans
The claims of God in scripture are very large. God created everything. To all that is created, the word has given life. As we study the created we encounter the creator, seeing his invisible qualities. The light of the creator shines in the darkness, but many do not comprehend it.
Scripture speaks of those who have eyes to see. "But blessed are your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear." (Matthew 13) We, with the disciples, live in the blessed age of seeing and hearing. Through God's inconceivably precious promises, we are able to participate in God's divine nature - to participate in the holiness and truth and love, in a word, perfection; which dwells in God, and in you, by God dwelling in you... (2 Peter 1; G.T.C.E.C.) We, gratefully, participate in the Divine Nature and all the delight of existence that that perspective in relationship holds.
However, in a world that is spiritually void, on purpose and determinedly so, for many personalities, it is very hard to not have the spiritual void (aggressive commitment to nothingness) lower, if not annihilate, the spiritual delight and curiosity that grows as we discover the beauty and goodness of the purpose-breathed world in which we live and the life-giving glory that it declares. The word worship entails the thought of reverence or acknowledgement rightly paid or given to something truly of worth - that which is WORTHY.
Much of our praise grows out of our understanding and awareness that God is in all and through all, graciously holding all things together. His worthiness practically screams at us as we study whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - (all that is excellent and truly praise-WORTHy) -- as we think about such things, we are transformed by an abundantly lovely, kind and gracious story of the God of the universe, keeping us from careening into our own self-destruction. The God of love who has his eye on humanity, both broadly as in the greater we: the fullness of the human race, and our continuing journey of self-discovery and self-respect in diversity; as well as on the smaller, yet significant, individual me. My story, in all of its own complexity, is important to this great and good Creator. God is watching all of Humankind and all of her diverse individual persons. God the creator continues to proclaim "it is good" into a world that tries desperately to defy the goodness of his love and purpose with its own self-promoting narratives that produce destruction, tyranny and violence. The God of purpose and abundant speaks to us through the mysteries revealed as we study with our eyes wide open.
Eyes wide open for seeing, is a right and good orientation to all studies. For by it, one delights. Discovers. Falls in love with. Sees one's own individual worth and the greater worth of the vastness of others in the collective 'we' made in God's own image as Trinity. A finding of ourselves as we come to more fully understand God's ensconcing (positioned safely and comfortably) goodness -- all that God has saved us from as he daily pours his love into creation that life and love may abound and not be silenced by the broken and destructive.
I am often around parents who are truly proud that their children are "not sheltered" from the "real" world as they daily trudge off to public school and public education. And much of me gets that. I was one of them once. Very proud indeed. But learning differences brought that to an end when our feet simply could not keep up with the steps that were being taken, and for the sake of self-worth and a vague leading, we stepped down from the moving walkway to travel the terrain of dirt that much better suited us.
That, funny enough, was my sole reason for jumping into homeschooling. And ill-suited for it I truly was. But God kept working through my ineptitude. Kept freeing us. Teaching us to laugh in the midst of the "oh-so-serious"-ness that I thought intentional becoming required. However, it was not intuitive to get there.
When I was younger there was this very popular Lichtenstein image of a stressed out woman, with the caption "I can't believe it. I forgot to have children." You can see it here. It captured a certain sentiment of the 80s and often made me laugh. But here I was, a decade into the new millennia, haunted by the thought, "Oh no! She forgot to educate her children." Terrified was I ... mainly because I had such a clearly realized image of what education should, no, MUST look like. Now, I find most people today liberated from such fears. Life in general is not so tightly scripted. Even so, the nature of God is to set us free into His irrepressible joy.
The subject of spirituality integrated into education is deeply about wholeness and well-being; and walking daily, hourly, continually in the realized embrace of a loving God. There is a whole lot out there at war with this concept. At war with it. And were a Parent to tell me that they felt definitively lead by God to send their child to public school, I would encourage that. Our God is a God of tremendous risk for everybody involved. Baby in manger. Baby in basket alone on the water. Unchosen, unloved wife worshiping God, naming son in such a way that for all of eternity her tribe would be known by his name, and the savior of the universe would, also, be known by the name of this boy born to the said unchosen woman. And, then of course, this savior, fully flesh, dies on a cross. Not afraid of risk, is God. God is the one who likes to show up and defy discomfort and the misery that so often begets it.
But the accusation of the fear thing for the family that does not make that choice, the choice to participate in public school, is truly wrong. Fairly ignorant. It is the JOY thing that makes the choice of homeschooling a wonderfully spiritual event. We are not avoiding anything, we are jumping in - preparing our Daniels, as it were, with the food that best enables them to advise the King and face the lions at terrible odds when necessary.
We are in the positive, on purpose. Getting to examine all of life via the gift of its Creator. Filling the spectrum of learning with the truth of presence. (vs the lie of absence.) Looking at everything through the lens of divine love and redemption. Such good news! So much fun!! Honestly. Seeing purpose. Beauty. Meaning. Be it in Anne of Green Gables or The Hunchback of Notre Dame or comparing Karl Marx writing on Alienation with God's own critique of a bad king in 1 Samuel 8. Through it all, God is vividly attested to in the meaningful journey of learning. A worship-filled journey indeed.
Nature
Homeschooling
(at its best) gives you much more time to spend in nature
The average American child is reported to spend over seven hours a day in front of a screen. That actually tells us how many, many hours some children sit, with no outside interaction, simply because there are many children who are not nearly seven hours in front of a screen. The discrepancy can cause tears.
Time spent in nature is an absolutely worthy pursuit. Studies show that Nature is good for a child's mind and well-being. (The preceding link lists 7 worthwhile benefits.) No real surprise there. But here is even a more thorough article on the role of playing in nature and its importance in the development of our brains in terms of Executive Function and the ability of the brain to plan, organize and complete tasks. (Pages 4 - 6 are a great resource as quick review regarding Executive Function and mental development. Furthermore, pages 8 - 12 explain the significance of outdoor play by age levels, providing ideas and explaining the benefits that come from play in each age range.)
In Childhood and Nature (2008), David Sobel (2008) establishes seven common play themes that are common in the play of children around the world. Regardless of socioeconomic status, ethnicity, or type of natural habitat (desert vs woods), children: 1) create forts and special places; 2) play hunting and gathering games; 3) shape small worlds; 4) develop friendships with animals; 5) construct adventures; 6) create fantasies; and 7) follow paths and discover shortcuts. All seven of these categories of play are expressed throughout the full spectrum of childhood: infancy and toddler years, early childhood, middle childhood, and the teen years.
Humanity is wired for play and we are especially wired for play in both "green" and "blue" spaces (green earth and blue beaches:). Interfacing with nature in her beauty seemingly affects us differently than the real benefits of free play. (which is, actually, a different favorite point for homeschooling.) The two are similar and, yet, different in terms of benefits.
Nature is a natural healer. It has notable curative properties. Depression, ADHD, brain health, executive function.... all respond positively to time spent in nature. When Frances Kuo, et al. (Latin for and others), at the University of Illinois, studied seven to twelve years-old, she compared the effect of green nature by having children take three different types of 20 minute walks in different environments: Downtown, in their neighborhood, or in a city park on green grass. The walk in the park had greater impact on the children's focus than the other two walks. In fact, a 20 minute daily walk in the park (green) had a comparable effect on focus to prescribed medication. American Journal of Public Health and American Journal of Attention Disorders.
Dr. James Greenblatt's article, "The Great Outdoors...," references Richard Louv's (Vitamin N) suggestion:
Make the “green hour” a family tradition. Give your kids a daily green hour for unstructured play and interaction, he suggests. If you can’t spare a green hour, start with 15 minutes.
Recommendations for different ages: Infants: Recognize they need nature; stay close by. Toddlers. Give them the space to explore. Middle school: Encourage them to hunt, gather, and navigate. Preteens and teens: Don’t assume they no longer need nature, “…nature provides young adults with rich opportunities to build personal identity, connections to other people, and social and environmental responsibility.”
A green hour is entirely doable when homeschooling. Nature is fun. And children who play in it, know this. Even just to sit in. Let alone explore. Ride bikes. Take hikes. Meet nature through a myriad of interactions. Getting to know nature by name is a pleasue as well. (Apps for getting to know nature.) Nature is reassuring. It declares God's glory, putting things into perspective. Homeschooling easily allows for large amounts of time to be spent in nature. Gardening, hiking, playing, ... homeschooling and the flexibility of your days can easily help you be in nature as a family as often as you intend to be. Time and its allocation is simply that much more adaptable when homeschooling. Run away to nature for the day - you will be glad you did. :)
More about homeschooling in Nature: Nature observation, Nature play, Backpacking, and outdoor living for those who are intrigued but not sure how to go about such adventures.
Nature is also a great way to hang out with other friends. If you are like me and not a person of high energy, don't be afraid of taking time and being in nature.
School work was hard work for our family. It could have consumed ALL of our waking hours. I am deeply grateful to the many people and curricula that directed me toward life lived outdoors: climbing in trees, making mud, collecting leaves. And again, well into the later years.
For many nature is an organic pursuit. For me it was something I had to push myself toward. I am truly thankful for the many voices that helped me realized more time in nature with my vibrant children:)
Time
Meaningful learning takes time. I strongly recommend NOT trying to keep up with anyone. (Never be afraid of what your child isn't - no matter how much pressure you feel. In Christ there is no fear. He promises to lead you well. And he will. Not a myth. Be sensitive to the Spirit and see where you go...)
Determine what learning is important to you for your child and children and then take the time required for that learning to be learned.
Have NO other agenda:) than meaningful learning. Not what should have happened. Not what might have happened.
See things for what they are and throw out anything that might make you feel condemned. Yet hold this freedom of time in line with perseverance of activity. ... Not jumping around from thing to thing whereby the child has felt they learned nothing.
Rather, use time in your favorite. What are you learning right now? Let's learn it. (Again, some people do this naturally and effortlessly, others of us have to fight to feel like we are not failing. You are not failing - I assure you. I've seen many a mother robbed of the joy that was rightfully hers due to worry. However, I do want to say, if the sense of failure becomes overwhelming and insurmountable, seek professional help. It is one thing to be bullied by some fears. It is another to be desperate and alone and truly beyond yourself. Also, when homeschooling is too much for you as an individual, it is good to find workable alternatives. I am a HUGE fan of collaborative learning communities. Get help so that you are not journeying alone.)
Remember...
Time is a GIFT from God - but as is true for so many different gifts, there are realities that try to rob time from us such that we no longer view it as a gift. Instead, things can become flipped around in such away that time feels like it is our enemy. As if we must defeat it or it will defeat us.
Not true.
Enjoy your time. Everyday. Talk back to those fears. Tell them that they are not real. To go away. We're busy growing and becoming - you, fear are not welcome into our time.
Because ... Time is a gift. And you have the gift of time. Time is for you. Not against you.
There is always enough time.
Furthermore, regarding time...
- Time allows for meaningful learning
Time really is our friend. Time is the space in which we learn. For some of us learning takes more time than others. Children with special needs very much require more time for learning. School often cannot provide time in this way - causing the child to increasingly be "behind" -- whatever that means? Seriously, what a crazy term. Behind what?
I would love for you to read this article on time. It talks about the different way some children learn new information and why having freedom in time helps the child succeed at the learning goal.
Nota Bene (note it well): When it comes to learning, Time is your friend. You're not working against it. It is, rather, working for you. Over time children learn. And in doing so, they succeed.
- Time gives you an anchored sense of self
To know and to be known. I believe many children walk through life not feeling that they are known nor understood. To be known takes a significant amount of time and shared experience. Being with people who are able to reflect back to us an honest and informed sense of who we are is a tremendous gift to our own personal sense of self. Every year in a different classroom with different people and different teachers in a world that is already most likely full of strangers, makes gaining a strong sense of self tricky for children. They often become the sole interpreters of themselves which is inherently problematic. Home schooling places you in a world where you are well-known - from a variety of angles. Jordan Peterson reminds us that "we are all engaged in the co-creation of personality - our own and others." Home schooling gives clarity to that very precious and vital process. Which leads to my next point...
- The time aspect of Homeschooling helps children feel at home in this world. They are not as likely to be, tentatively, oriented toward "good behavior"
They are more than likely to be comfortable with themselves in a manner that can even bother folk. But it is a gift. When life is full of temporary relationships, things can become quite tenuous - one can lose confidence as to their truest self. Home schooling helps children feel at home. Helps them trust emotions because they are more likely to see good outcomes from negative experiences - if they do not have parents that pull them out of negative interactions.
- Time in homeschooling allows for real relational resolutions
Per the above. Parents that are afraid of negative encounters teach their children to believe that they are fragile - can't handle things. It is not uncommon for a parent to homeschool because they knew loneliness and alienation in their own childhood journey. It is not a bad reason for homeschooling. There is quite a bit of alienation and loneliness around. But quite commonly, parents can project their own experience upon their children, when in fact their children are having an entirely different life journey.
One of my favorite aspects of homeschooling is watching children become far more resilient than their own parents. My point: home schooling at its best helps our children learn to grow through the powerful and creative emotions that are often interpreted as negative: anger, disappointment, frustration. To experience anger that is not devastating but instead is creative and moves the process forward is a wonderful skill to acquire at a young age. But in order to experience it in a positive light, children need to see relationships grow beyond negative encounters. Home schooling, often, provides a safe place for families to process frustrations honestly and to push forward meaningfully. A test as to relational resilience is how quickly one moves from tension to health. Homeschooling families have more time for pursuing this end.
We are not pursuing the absence of tensions but a quality of understanding and communication such that the tensions do not leave any one feeling devastated. Rather, at best, more understood.
- Time spent homeschooling allows us to intentionally and not so intentionally get to know our children
I came into the call of parenting and then of homeschooling with pretty diminished human attachment skills. I was like a piece of velcro that was flat and did not stick very well to relationships. I liked to be kind. But I was easily claustrophobic. And just pretty much attachment aloof.
When I first felt lead to homeschooling, it felt terrorizingly unwise. But I knew God was impressing it upon my heart. And I was motivated to seek to be as well as I possibly could be. I was motivated by the hope that any health I gained on the journey gave my children a significantly stronger platform of well-being to stand on. I had read this several times. Glossing over my inabilities, faking wellness was not the path not strategy that anyone in our family needed. My own journey of coming into well-being was the process that would empower them the most.
And, so, I often asked God for wisdom and insight. How do I do this? God's response usually came in the form of 3:00 am thoughts and ideas about how to do things differently or better. Ie. squat and look her in the eye when you speak to her. Now most everyone knows this. I didn't. But I was lead to many such adjustments in my behavior. This aspect of growing in my journey was very meaningful even when I was not always able to perfectly follow through on the planned action.
Much of what I felt encouraged toward was simply being in the moment. My capacity for this was pretty broken. I did not know how to play easily. I was fairly confined. But my daughters were not confined. And together, reality was being redefined for me.
Furthermore, through that process of being present and hanging out together as unable as I was, I grew deeply in my knowledge of my own daughters. This gift of health was not something we could have cheated our way into. It was a lived-through gift of learning how to actually get to know some one as well as how to be known.
I simply can not imagine my life without this precious process of being together and knowing one another.
On a very different note regarding time and children feeling known, I have often observed that somewhere around the third grade children can stop feeling like their parents know them. The parent still feels like they know the child but the child might no longer feel known by their parents. (Obvioulsy this is not an always and in every case situation - but it is something I have seen more than a few times.) Perhaps, something will happen at school and they do not know how to share the experience with their parents. Especially situations that the child feels shy about. Instead, they may start protecting their parent(s) from things that are difficult, thinking that their parents will not understand what they are going through, or that it might even be too much for their innocent parents to handle. Or that they are simply too stressed and busy, etc.
Homeschooling helps keep the conversations of everyone's lives interactive and current. At its best, it allows a child to process most every moment with their parents such that they are less likely to be feeling all alone in a difficult situation. They are not having to come up with answers in situations that overwhelm them or for which they are not yet prepared.
- Homeschooling and the unique way we spend time together allows for Intergenerational normalness - This is a favorite
Often there is a terrible divide between the different ages: Parents. Grandparents. Jr. High. Sr. High. Elementary. Pre-school. Homeschooling and homeschool culture, however, functions like a one room classroom. Everybody is all together and that freedom shines through the culture. It also shines through in the freedom homeschooled children often have in speaking with adults. This difference can be notable.
The intergenerational interaction that homeschooling helps create is a favorite aspect of the world of homeschooling. Children see humanity as persons, not merely subsets of age. It is not unusual to find a wide age of children and youth playing together at homeschooling functions.
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